Kalie Shorr Promises To Be A Safe Place For Everyone

Kalie Shorr may have been raised to think a certain way, but as she grew and learned more about the world around her, the “Fight Like A Girl” singer realized that life is more than just black and white. Over the years, she’s become an outspoken advocate for those who may not be able to speak for themselves and continues to work every day to make the world a more welcoming and loving place. In this blog, Shorr writes about her upbringing and what led her to challenge everything she’d been taught before…

I’ve learned a lot of things over the past decade. How to drive a car, how to play mandolin, how to fix a broken heart. But even more important than the things I’ve learned are the things I’ve unlearned.

I grew up Christian. As in, CHRISTIAN Christian. As in, went to a Christian school where we were taught that evolution was a hoax, women were responsible for men’s sexual sin, and gay people were going to hell. I was in 5th grade and didn’t know any members of the LGBTQIA community. Luckily, I had TV shows with representation, but most kids at this school had no context other than that if you weren’t straight, you were living in sin. I ended up essentially getting kicked out of the school because I told a pastor to go f**k himself. He told me my mom was going to hell because she read the New King James Version of the Bible, as opposed to the King James Version. I was 12, and it was the first time I’d realized that an authority figure can be wrong. That was the beginning of forming my own opinions.

I always loved the TV show Degrassi, on the Canadian teen channel the N. They covered so many topics that weren’t discussed in my family. They discussed homophobia and hate crimes, and had openly gay characters as early as 2003. By 2005, they aired a show called South of Nowhere, which was one of the first (if not the first) mainstream teen show that featured openly gay lead characters. I saw myself in Spencer and Ashley, and the show opened my mind. They actually even had parent guides for each of the episodes to help with questions families might have watching it. So a quick round of applause to the N for being ahead of the curve.

After my brief but eventful foray into religion-based schooling, I went to public school. My mind opened faster than I could keep up with. My freshman year, Maine’s governor attempted to pass a legislative act that would allow same-sex marriage. It became one of the most talked about topics in school. My friends and classmates started coming out as LGBTQ+. A few years later, Lady Gaga held a rally at a public park in my hometown to support the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I’d hang out with my friends and talk openly about our various sexualities, but then I’d go to a church where the pastor would outright say that gay marriage is a sin. A 13 year old brain is not equipped for that level of cognitive dissonance. I still struggle with anger towards the people who taught me that God supports hate.

I know it’s not my fault for believing as a child that gay marriage was a one way ticket to hell; I also thought I had purchased one by losing my… purity ring. But I still feel guilt for what I was taught. As soon as I started gaining a following, I promised myself that I would always be outspoken in my support of the LGBTQIA community. I love so many of them personally. I have so many as fans. I’m not sure I’ve ever cried after a meet and greet the way I did when a trans woman shared her heartfelt connection to “Fight Like A Girl.” I promise that my shows will always be a safe place for everyone, regardless of their sexuality, gender identity, or race.

I’ve also been lucky enough as a songwriter to be brought into spaces where I could help tell people’s very intimate stories and experiences. I co-wrote a song by Jenna McDaniel called “In The Sun,” which is about her decision to come out as a lesbian country singer. My personal favorite is a song by my non-binary friend Miki Ratsula called “Second,” which documents their decision to get top surgery. It’s written to their girlfriend about the insecurity that comes with body changes over the course of their relationship. It’s out now, and it’s one of the most special songs I’ve ever gotten to co-write.

Given how outspoken I’ve been, this essay is uncomfortable to write. But I know there’s a lot of people who relate to the unlearning process and the guilt that comes with what we were taught. As an adult, I refuse to teach my future children to hate people. Even more so, I refuse to teach them to do anything but love. It’s not about tolerance; and to be honest, I hate that word. Watching someone live their truth and love freely is not something to merely “put up with.” It’s something to celebrate. And I promise, whichever higher power you believe in, they’re up there celebrating too… because isn’t love the entire point?

XO,
Kalie Shorr