I’m the luckiest man in the world.
Lots of folks say that.. Many mean it. Everyone has their reasons. I have one big reason in particular. His name is Ryan and he’s 8-years-old as of today.
Last year, on his 7th birthday, I wrote an article about him being a superhero. This year, I’m writing about him again.
Second grade was a really big year for Ryan. He learned a lot, and taught me a lot. We had some major changes in our lives and he (really we both) got to have some pretty cool experiences.
Ryan is an engaging kid. He loves chatting with people and has lots of questions for you. If you don’t answer in a way that makes sense to him, he’s going to dive deeper. Do not poke the bear.
Now, Ryan is a little more engaged in his community than many of his peers. In 2011, he watched his first State of the Union Address. In 2012, he was very interested in the debates over DOMA and DADT, because “why would anyone try to prevent someone else from being happy?” In 2014, he began helping out with campaigns in San Diego. He walked precincts nearly every weekend for Congressman Scott Peters. In 2016, he’s worked on now Councilman Elect Chris Ward’s campaign. So far, his endorsements have been winning picks...so move on over Nate Silver.
This year, he met President Barack Obama, President Bill Clinton, and Secretary Hillary Clinton, among scores of other change makers in our corner of the world. To a time, he always had a good question prepared and wasn’t starstruck like the rest of us. He even wore a pirate flag lapel pin when he met President Clinton!
He has been following the 2016 election cycles very closely and is a staunch Hillary Clinton supporter. We even went to Las Vegas to walk doors for her before the Nevada Caucuses in March. He had a blast and can’t wait to do it again this fall.
His thoughts on Donald Trump remain poignant.
“I’m going to read through my constitution book and see if Donald Trump has broken it. When I find the spots he has I’m going to highlight it or underline it.” He asserted one evening in the car on the way home from school.
I remember several weeks ago, I was getting my haircut and Ryan was reading magazines. The other two kids were reading “Highlights” magazine...Ryan was reading “Rolling Stone” about the election. He had several questions afterward and we talked through them all.
At the Hillary for America campaign office launch here in San Diego, he told City Councilman Todd Gloria that “Donald Trump is a big bad playground bully”.
Now, all politics and no play make Ryan a dull boy, so we spent a good part of the weekends this year sailing with friends and chosen family aboard the good ship Uni. The sailboat is captained by San Diego Port Commissioner Bob Nelson. Bob has quickly become family to us. He and Ryan have a very special bond. They spent the morning of Memorial Day placing red roses on the graves of veterans at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery. Bob patiently explained to Ryan what much of it meant and he learned a lot.
One of the times we went sailing with friends, a British man named Craig came with us. Well, Ryan hasn’t had a huge exposure to brits beyond Paddington, a fictional bear. He did the natural thing and harassed this poor man, calling him Paddington all day long. Later in the year, we had dinner with Craig and our friend Harry. Before dinner, we explained to him that it was really rude of him to constantly call Craig by a fictional bear’s name based solely upon his accent and Ryan did a wonderful job of keeping it together, even though it was quite clear he wanted to bring up the moniker again.
Because he is an innocent child, his logic is superior to most adults. Before we met President Clinton, he declared “You always have to wear fun socks when you meet important people”. Truer words have never been spoken, if you ask me.
During another of those sailing trips, Ryan told our friend Katelyn that she was the “queen of eating”. Luckily Katelyn is a fitness instructor and can handle such a title… imagine how that could have gone with a different audience?
Ryan’s heart is huge, but he doesn’t often suffer fools. He has been known to question adults about their decisions. I do my best to curtail that behavior, but sometimes he slides the comments in and cuts hard. He has a terrible poker face that says it all.
He hasn’t limited himself to sailing. He often hikes with grandma. I would be remiss in this piece if I didn’t acknowledge what a huge role she plays in his life. Whether it was taking him without question when the Navy sent me across the country for duty or taking him on a Saturday morning excursion so I can grade some papers, she has been there and made life possible.
Ryan has this way of asking me questions that bring me back to reality, no matter what issue I’m working on. It murders my soul when he gets frustrated because I’m texting or emailing back and forth when he wants attention. His smile makes my world and disappointing him is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.
My favorite thing about Ryan is that he is a thoughtful little gent. People say that kids are not old enough to understand some concepts. I say that grownups aren’t courageous enough to attempt to explain the absurdity of some accepted norms to the logic monsters we call our kids.
Each year, I’ve committed to writing one of these to make sure I remember just how lucky I am to have him. And each year, it reminds me just how lucky I am to have a community of incredible humans who love him and help me teach him how to be a good human.
