Movies From Your Childhood That Taught You Bad Lessons
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There's a lot wrong with Blank Check. For one thing, it glorifies extreme spending and the pursuit of money at all costs, even when it's unethical. It also encourages inappropriate relationships between children and adults.
The agent assigned to the case of "Mr. Macintosh" is an adult woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She spends most of the film with a preteen boy in middle school. Not just spending time, either - the two go on dates, run through water fountains, and ultimately share a kiss on the mouth. That's not something kids should watch, lest they think it's okay for strange adults to show them affection in that way.
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Dennis the Menace really wants viewers to be okay with a horrible child. Dennis is incredibly energetic, and his boundless enthusiasm leads him to do things like break into other people's homes and shoot pills into their mouths with a slingshot. That's not normal behavior, but somehow Dennis is the protagonist of the film, while all the adults who'd prefer not to be abused by a child are the bad guys.
The movie encourages destructive and annoying behavior because that's what kids are evidently supposed to do. George tells Dennis's parents, "Kids are kids. You have to play by their rules. If you can't do that, you're in trouble. You must roll with the punches. You must expect the unexpected." Kids watching the movie probably realized they could get away with anything if they acted crazy enough.
More Dennis the Menace What do Ariel and Prince Eric have in common in The Little Mermaid? Hard to remember, right? Well, that's because the two never have a conversation - Ariel cannot speak. Their entire relationship centers on physical attractiveness. Ariel attempts to seduce Eric into kissing and marrying her based solely on her ability to look cute. Kids watching could conclude that's all that matters in a romantic relationship.
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The Parent Trap is about two long-lost twins scheming to get their divorced parents to fall back in love. To do this, they not only have to convince their parents of their feelings for each other, but they also have to break up their father's engagement. That's more than a little messed up. Who are these two kids to mess with their father's love life?
Their plans work in the film, but it could set unrealistic expectations for other kids with divorced parents. If they only try hard enough, they can get their parents back together, and everything will be fine. The Parent Trap teaches children not to accept that their parents have moved on, and instead to hate any new stepparents and refuse to let them into their lives.
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Obviously, fat-shaming and looking down on people for their weight are terrible things nobody should do. Still, the message behind Heavyweights isn't great.
When the kids first arrive at the weight-loss camp, it turns out all of them have smuggled in tons of junk food. Tony Perkis throws it all away, and the audience is supposed to see him as a villain. He's evil because he won't let them squirt chocolate syrup directly into their mouths.
Sure, Tony is a little crazy, and his motivations aren't in the right place, but he's at least trying to get these kids to adopt healthy habits. Kids watching the movie might assume anybody who tries to get them to exercise or eat better is an evil dirtbag, when they're probably just trying to help.
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Mrs. Doubtfire is a strange movie. A man going through a divorce attempts to reconnect with his kids by dressing up as an old woman and pretending to be their new housekeeper. When people discover his duplicity, everyone seems to think it's understandable because he was doing it for the kids.
Except what he did is illegal. He lied about his identity, donned a disguise, and tricked people into allowing him to spend time with kids the court had explicitly ordered him to leave alone. Children watching Mrs. Doubtfire could believe stalking is okay as long as love motivates it.
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By its nature, a movie about Santa Claus isn't very realistic. But when younger kids watch a film like The Santa Clause and assume Santa is real, it's not that big of a deal. When they watch The Santa Clause and believe all therapists are evil misers who want to steal them away from their parents, that's a problem.
The conflict at the core of The Santa Clause is Charlie's struggle with his father becoming Santa. He knows it's true, but nobody else does. His stepfather - a therapist - comes across as one of the villains in the film, and eventually, another therapist decides Charlie shouldn't see his father at all. That's problematic for kids who may need to see a therapist one day. If they have the perception that therapists can't be trusted, it could thwart them from reaching out for help.
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The Sandlot may have been a lot of fun to watch as a kid, but years later, certain scenes are incredibly disturbing. The film is full of rampant misogyny. The boys mock each other for throwing "like a girl" and don't believe a woman could know about Babe Ruth.
Squints even tricks lifeguard Wendy Peffercorn into kissing him by pretending to drown in the pool, which is pretty gross.
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On the surface, The Mighty Ducks is about overcoming the odds and coming together as a team. At the end of the season, it's their friendship and unique talents that help them win the championship. Well, their unique skills, and how they managed to steal away the best hockey player in the area.
Through manipulation, Coach Bombay gets Adam Banks transferred to the Mighty Ducks, away from all his friends. He makes new friends, and the team ends up all the better for it, but it's the coach's underhanded methods that lead the team to victory. This behavior shows winning is more important than letting a kid play hockey with his friends.
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The Incredibles stands as one of the greatest superhero films ever made. Although the messages of individual strength and family unity are great, there's a weird undercurrent of exceptionalism running through the movie, too. The film's villain, Syndrome, wants to take his mechanical superpowers and give them to everybody. As he says, "Once everybody's super, nobody will be."
Having the heroes oppose this implies only truly exceptional people should be allowed to be outstanding; hard work and inventiveness are no match for natural talent. That's not really a message you want your kids ingesting.
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Films like Saw and Hostel attract viewers because of their extreme violence. Obviously, those kinds of movies aren't for kids - except for Home Alone.
The Atlantic laid out the many brutal, violent acts in Home Alone. Even if they don't realize it, kids like watching violence just as much as adults, and the sanitized version presented in Home Alone makes it even more appealing.
It's terrifying to consider whether any kids rigged homemade booby traps of their own and injured parents, siblings, or friends. Home Alone should have received an R rating.
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The Brave Little Toaster teaches kids about the power of friendship, how to believe in yourself, and that every random appliance in your house is alive. The first two lessons are innocent enough, but the third encourages hoarding. Most kids don't believe their toaster could secretly come to life, but even the most basic implication that inanimate objects have intrinsic worth beyond their function is the first step toward holding on to things you don't need.
There's no point in keeping a broken toaster, right? Well, if you've been taught to remember all the good times you've had and mediocre toast you've made with that machine, you might be less inclined to dump it. Do that a couple of dozen times, and congratulations! You're a hoarder.
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Every Harry Potter movie includes a moment where Ron, Hermione, and Harry need to perform some task that really should be left up to adults. Whether it's outing Voldemort or fighting a massive snake, these children do dangerous things that really should be the responsibility of older, more experienced wizards and witches.
But the films portray adults as mistrustful, stupid, and often downright evil. Only kids can save the day in the Harry Potter movies, and the franchise subtly pushes the idea that adults don't know anything, and kids shouldn't listen to or obey them.
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Pixar is notorious for causing adults to weep openly at children's films, but with Toy Story 2 they may have gone too far. The movie hammers home how horrible it is when kids stop playing with their toys. The most awful thing that ever happened to Jessie was her owner became too old to play with a cowgirl doll. This montage scene features some of the saddest music in existence, further highlighting how shameful it is to give up on your toys.
But is this really what we want to teach kids? Toys disappear all the time, and interests change. Some kids already have enough difficulty giving up a favorite blanket or stuffed animal - and that's without thinking their things are sentient.
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