StudentVUE 4+

I’ve been using StudentVue since middle school. For a long time, I found it inconvenient, but never unusable. My main problem with it was you had to sign in every single time you wanted to check your grades, which I rarely had time for. When my friend introduced me to the MyScores grade calculator app that seamless linked to StudentVue, it was wonderful! For the first time, I could just open the app and check my grades in seconds, not valuable minutes.

But in the past week, StudentVue has undergone the worst update of any service I have ever seen. I actually liked the old aesthetic and interface. Missing assignments were clearly highlighted, grades easily visible…all gone. Replaced by an incredibly ugly and unintuitive new layout that almost feels like they’re trying to *hide* missing assignments from your vision! There is nothing more irritating than having to scroll through a list of uniform grey names in search of a tiny label saying “0%, missing”. Oh, did I mention that they BROKE EVERY GRADE CALCULATOR APP? Rest in piece, MyScores, because it’s now unusable with the newest update.

Great job, StudentVue! I salute you for rolling out the worst update no one asked for or needed AND breaking any apps that could alleviate the terrible update!

It all began when I clicked the “download” button on this app, a beckoning hue of colbalt blue. The second the downloading process was complete, I felt a rumble beneath my feet and the sound of glass dining ware shattering. I raced to the front door to meet the chilling and spikey breeze of winter, lifted my head toward the sky, and saw what I can only describe as satanic.

Where the sun should have been rested a large JYP (daddy jay whai pee papi). Faded and distorted snippets of “look at me” by TWICE echoed through the air as my neighbors began to rush out of their homes just like I had. We stared at each other until suddenly, my next door neighbor began screaming uncontrollably. As if things couldn’t become more horrifying, his limbs bent and snapped audibly, waving in the air as if controlled by a puppeteer. I only watched long enough to realize that my neighbor was dancing… Dancing to NewJeans… I immediately grabbed my dog and ran for the hills.

5 stars, great app, and I’ve healed from this trauma, although I do experience sporadic night terrors. Thank you for reading.

I was recently using the Student Vue app to check my grades (I am currently enrolled in primary school), and found a peculiar bug. Before this, the app worked splendidly. I was able to view all of my grades with much ease and haste, and with the “Calculate Grade” feature, I was never caught by surprise when spelling checks were entered. However, just a fourth of a fortnite ago I was using the application, and upon its opening i suffered from an instant dislocation of my C-3 vertebrae. “How odd”, I thought to myself. I had never had this issue before. At this point, voluntary movement was quite challenging, and so I attempted to carefully slip my phone into my pencil pouch to avoid any further chance of misadventure, when lo! My hand had slipped on a leftover stain of Gogurt on my desk (Strawberry Surpirse), slamming my phone into my hand and opening the grades section of Student Vue. Immediately, I was sent into cardiac arrest and had to be resuscitated through continued CPR and my teachers car battery (Our emergency defibrillator had recently been stolen). I write this now from the hospital, and hope to inform the developers of this inconveniencing glitch.