Quote: “I forgive what is within because I’m in this house, I’m in this home, all my time.” – Of Monsters and Men
“I know I’ll wither so peel away the bark. Because nothing grows when it is dark.” This is a line from one of my favorite songs “Crystals” by Of Monsters and Men. “Nothing grows when it is dark” may seem like an obvious thing, but a part of growing as a person is letting yourself grow. It’s easy to shut yourself away into a dark space where no light can enter and peeling away the bark created from years of making a thick skin to let the light in can be a painful process.
Growing and changing is a messy thing. As the years pass, habits form and it’s so hard to give the bad ones up. It’s easy to stagnate and become comfortable with being angry or depressed daily. These emotions can become so integral to your being that you don’t realize that this isn’t how a healthy person is supposed to live.
My mental health journey started when my two best friends intervened and told me that I needed to seek help to heal from past damage. They made me realize that I can live a happier existence and I can grow to be a better person if I just let the light of help from others in. A key part of this journey was learning to forgive myself.
I’m my own worst critic. The first person to punish me is always myself which can be a terribly unhealthy habit when my internal critic believes that no punishment is enough for my mistakes. This is why a second line from “Crystals” means so much to me: “I forgive what is within because I’m in this house, I’m in this home, all my time.”
This house and home is my body, my being on this earth that God put here for a reason. So, to be content here on the planet, I must learn how to forgive myself and to let others forgive me for the hurt I’ve caused. There could be numerous “barks” that are keeping the light from letting you grow, but a step for healing and becoming the person that God wants you to be is finding out what that is and letting others and Him help you.