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March 28, 2024

Ten Tips to Help Kids Feel Less Anxious During COVID-19

May 13, 2020

The COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic has brought profound change to VNSNY staff with families. Many of us are home 24/7 with our children, and there is so much uncertainty day to day. Such upheaval can increase anxiety for us, and also for our children. They may have anxiety about the changes in their life, uncertainty around what the future holds, and the virus itself, wondering whether they or family members are going to get sick.

In a recent Support Call to Partners in Care home health aides, one participant asked what could be done to help a child who’s suffering from anxiety due to COVID-19. To that end, we did some research and came up with 10 ways you can help reduce anxiety in children—and even have fun along the way.

  1. Be open and honest

Talk through their fears and answer any questions truthfully. Don’t sugar-coat the facts, but try and explain what’s happening in a way that puts their fears in perspective.

  • Acknowledge that there is a virus spreading that can make people sick, but let children know that we can protect ourselves.
  • Discuss, practice and model hand washing, wearing masks and social distancing.
  • Be open to listening to their concerns, answering their questions, and discussing their feelings with them.
  • Acknowledge your own vulnerability by giving an example of how you handle your fears.
  • Try to make your comments appropriate to the age of the child and keep in mind their capacity to understand complex answers.
  • With older children, monitor the coronavirus information that they get on their devices. Try to limit it to a few reliable sources.

Here are some suggested conversation starters:

As with other traumas, talking about pandemic-related fears helps and usually lessens anxiety. You can say something like this: “There has been a lot of talk about coronavirus. Tell me what you know about it, or tell me what you’ve heard about it.”

For tweens and teens, you might also consider saying, “Tell me what your friends are saying about coronavirus. What have you seen about this online?”

Ask how your kids are feeling about this virus, and then validate these emotions—for example, you could say, “That sounds scary, let’s talk more about it.” or… “Sometimes when I feel scared, I do this…” or… “The last time you felt that way you did this…”

Note: It’s important to acknowledge how children are feeling and to let them know that all feelings are okay. You might feel you should say something like, “You don’t need to worry,” or “There’s no need to be upset, we’ll be fine.” But this is unlikely to change how children are feeling—and it may result in their not wanting to share their emotions or believing that their emotions are not okay to have.

Bonus activity: Have younger children identify their mood with a “feelings chart.” Find a printable feelings chart here, or draw your own. Continue the conversation with them, and share some of your own emotions.

  1. Provide daily structure

We are all off our usual schedules, and that can create anxiety—for children and grownups. Creating a new schedule can reduce that anxiety. The schedule can be simple and age appropriate, including meals, play, school work, family time and sleep. (Keeping to a regular sleep schedule is one important way to support emotional health.)

Bonus activity: Write out the schedule each day or week, with the children illustrating their favorite activities, like breakfast or FaceTime with Grandma.

  1. Reinforce the familiar

So much has changed for so many families. Acknowledge the changes and reinforce the familiar by brainstorming a list with your kids called Different/Same. Different: We don’t go to school or parks right now, Mommy works at home… Same: We eat dinner together, Daddy reads you bedtime stories…

 

  1. Exercise

Physical activity is known to reduce anxiety in kids and adults. Even if you can’t get out for a walk with appropriate social distancing, there are plenty of ways to move indoors.

Bonus activities (for inside your home):

  • Freeze Dance. Play music and dance. Stop the music, and everyone freezes. Then start up again.
  • Story Jump. When reading a book, pick a word that appears often (think: a character’s name or “hat” in Cat in the Hat). Every time the word is mentioned, kids do a jumping jack.
  • Activity Stations. Everyone writes a couple of activity signs (jumping jacks! high-knees! hop like a frog!) and places them around the house, in safe spots. Set a timer and rotate through the stations, 20 seconds each.
  1. Create moments of connection

Even with everyone home, work responsibilities and daily distractions can keep families from connecting. During daily moments of care—brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating—allow yourself to fully present with your kids. Talk about the day, including everyone’s anxieties and expectations, or just give a cuddle.

 

  1. Practice mindfulness

Some of us use mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or guided imagery for ourselves or with our patients to help them feel calmer. These can be helpful for our kids, too, by physically releasing tension in their body and giving them something other than their anxiety to focus on.

Bonus activity: One technique that can be especially useful for kids is progressive muscle relaxation—tensing and then releasing certain muscles to relieve overall tension. Here’s a script you can read to your kids to make the activity fun.

  1. Set simple goals

As we often do with our VNSNY patients and plan members, setting achievable goals is a great way to motivate people from day to day. The goals shouldn’t be too grand (no one needs to come out of this pandemic ready to run a marathon or play a new musical instrument). Simple, concrete goals can help kids feel productive and give them something to look forward to. You can guide the conversation, but make sure the goals come from them. Daily or weekly goals can include: doing one nice thing for your brother, writing Grandpa a letter, drawing a picture for Mom.

  1. Connect with people outside the home—virtually

It is natural for children to miss people they are used to seeing, such as friends and grandparents. On a regular basis, invite your child to talk about who they miss, and then try to connect virtually.

Bonus activity:

Virtual babysitting is possible. For children age 3 or 4 and up, a favorite babysitter can occupy them on FaceTime or Zoom for up to an hour, giving parents a needed break—but do keep an eye out to make sure that your child is safe (remember, the babysitter cannot monitor the child physically).

  1. Practice compassion

During such a stressful time, practice compassion towards yourself and your children. Celebrate the small victories—a nice, healthy breakfast; a moment of kindness between siblings. Take time to care for yourself, even if it’s just to look out the window on a sunny day or make a cup of tea on a busy afternoon. Find tips and guided exercises on self-compassion here.

  1. Create a “Joy Jar”

At bedtime or dinner, together with your children, identify one moment of joy (or fun or kindness) from the day. Write it down and put it in a designated Joy Jar. These moments can be a meaningful keepsake once we are on the other side of the pandemic, reminding you that joy can be found even in the most challenging times.

Got tips of your own you’d like to share with staff about what has helped you and your children reduce anxiety during COVID-19? We’d love to hear them! Please send your tips to Frontline by clicking here.

Please note that if someone has severe anxiety or depression, we also suggest professional counseling—which is now being offered by many providers via telehealth or phone calls, since most clinics are not seeing patients because of COVID 19. Families will find telephone numbers on the backs of their medical insurance cards to help them locate a provider.

To address any severe anxiety or other serious mental health challenges that you or your children may be dealing with, you can also contact the New York State Emotional Support Helpline at 844-863-9314.

Additional resources

There are a lot of online resources to help parents and children cope with anxiety as it relates to the coronavirus and its disruption of our daily lives. Here are a few to get started:

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network a good resource for COVID-19 fact sheets and family info.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America — resources for all ages, including this blog postfor parenting during a pandemic.

Centers for Disease Controlgeneral coronavirus information, as well as specific information on how to talk to kids about COVID-19.

New York State COVID-19 resources, including mental health and grief support.

National Alliance on Mental Illness — including this post on easing children’s anxiety about the coronavirus.

VNSNY’s COVID-19 information and resources.

Children with anxiety related to COVID-19 can also be seen at the VNSNY Community Mental Health Services clinic. Phone: 718-742-7000. The clinic’s intake coordinator, Louamy Sepulveda, can be reached at [email protected] or 347-215-0592.