It’s national mentoring month, which means it’s time to reflect on the value of mentoring. There is plenty of research documenting the benefits to having a mentor for both the mentor and the protégé. For protégés, we know that having mentors enables them to achieve higher compensation, faster salary growth, more promotions, greater job and career satisfaction, and higher organizational commitment. There are also benefits to the mentors when they serve in a mentoring role. They generally have higher job satisfaction and stronger professional relationships. Also, by having protégés, they have individuals who serve as a loyal support group for them. Serving as a mentor also gives them an opportunity to reflect on their own behaviors and to continually practice their communication and leadership skills.
Suppose you’ve decided to become a mentor or you already are one and you want to know how to improve, what can you do? There are definite tips for how to improve. I’ve included my top 12 tips for becoming a better mentor below:
Mentoring discussion
Set realistic expectations and goals about what roles you will play as the mentor. For example, will you be providing mostly psychological support or career-related support? What are your goals for the relationship? How much time will you dedicate to mentoring others? All of these issues need to be clarified early on for you to be successful.
Enable quick wins. Establish some short-term goals for the protégé and measure progress. Quick wins can be very motivational for them.
Listen and act as a sounding board. Protégés really want someone who can listen to them and hear their concerns, questions, or frustrations. Before providing advice, stop and actively listen to what they are telling you. Make sure you are spending more time listening than talking. Periodically check for clarity to make sure you understand what they are saying.
Take genuine interest in your protégé. Don’t make assumptions about them. Instead, get to know them as a person – what their hobbies and personal interests are. This helps in building a strong relationship and trust.
Provide feedback to your protégé. Provide truthful, constructive feedback to your protégé. Balance the negatives with positives. Give specific examples so they understand what they are doing that is effective and what they are doing that needs to change. This will help them to know exactly how to alter their behaviors.
Share your experiences in a thoughtful way. While protégés want to hear about the lessons you’ve learned, remember that the focus should be on them and not you. Tell them what you learned from your experiences, not what they should do or not do.
Push your protégés. Push them outside of their comfort zone. Make them accountable for their actions and performance by circling back with them to see what they have done. If you’ve given them an assignment to do something by a certain date, see if they have followed your suggestions.
Celebrate their successes. Taking time periodically to celebrate their successes can be very motivational for them. It can keep them engaged, especially during difficult times.
Share your network with them. Introduce your protégés to your professional colleagues that might be able to help them. Invite them to relevant meetings and conferences to expand their network. Include them in networking luncheons and introduce them to others.
Keep their confidences. Protégés expect that they can share information with you that you will keep confidential, unless they tell you it is okay to share it. This is really important and a key ingredient for building and maintaining trust.
Refer them to outside professionals as needed. Don’t take on topics and issues that you are not trained in. If they bring up health issues or family problems, addictions, etc. you might need to refer them to others. Sometimes mentors try to provide advice that goes beyond their competence. What would be better is to refer the protégé to the relevant trained professionals.
Serve as a sponsor when possible. Sponsors provide a unique type of help to protégés. They give protégés exposure and visibility to other senior leaders. They serve as advocates for them by putting their name forward for possible promotions and other visible influential opportunities.
It takes a special person to be an effective mentor. They have to really want to help others succeed, and they need to have the time, patience, and energy to serve in a mentoring relationship. They also need to be inspiring, successful, and have strong interpersonal skills (e.g., communication, empathy, listening skills). Not everyone can be a successful mentor. But, everyone can improve by following the tips I have prescribed.
